yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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