My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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