You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
