walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We had to coat check the pizza.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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