walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
