"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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