Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
