he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
