help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
