I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
