his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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