worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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