Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...

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(770): View more from Georgia

The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com

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(248): View more from Michigan

Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.

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(703): View more from Virginia

We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo

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(253): View more from Washington

I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.

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