Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
