he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
