Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
