You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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