a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
