go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
