I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You had me at "let me see your balls"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Terrible idea I love it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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