i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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