Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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