how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
