yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
