Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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