Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
God I need to hump something, right now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
