There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
