we have officially lost it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
