After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
