I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
