he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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