Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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