thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
