He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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