My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
