Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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