The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
