is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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