Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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