when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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