We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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