My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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