Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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