Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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