apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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