Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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