I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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