I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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