Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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