mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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